Keeping teens safe online – what you can do
by Parenting Software on 24/06/10 at 10:16 am
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could protect our children from every danger, everywhere?
Unfortunately, that just isn’t possible. In fact, one of the most important goals of parenting is to help children recognize and avoid the dangers experience has taught us may harm them. In other words, we can’t protect them, but we can prepare them.
In recent years, preparing teens to be safe online has become an increasingly important part of every parent’s job. A powerful tool, the Internet may seem a magic portal to endless information and resources. It can also be a dark and dangerous jungle, particularly for teens.
Why are teens more vulnerable?
- Teens often overestimate the depths of their experience and wisdom
- Teens often underestimate their vulnerability
- Teens are working toward autonomy and independence, which often results in secretiveness, a need to strike out on a path contrary to the one parents have directed them toward, and feelings alienation.
What can parents do?
- Establish clear ground rules for Internet use. Revisit these rules periodically.
- Continue to nurture your relationship with your teen. A strong relationship improves communication and reduces feelings of alienation.
- Become involved or interested in the things that are important to your teen.
- Monitor Internet use and install monitoring software, if necessary.
- Ask your child to share online profiles on pages such as MySpace
- Discuss what is and is not appropriate to post.
- Help your child develop or maintain interests outside of the Internet
- Monitor cell phone bills for suspicious (i.e. long distance or unfamiliar telephone numbers)
- Talk about some of the dangers (such as adults posing as young people, or bullying) and role play with your teen how to handle potentially dangerous situations.
Yes, the Internet is a powerful tool, and there have been a number of horror stories about teens falling prey to predators online; but parents are powerful too. When you use that power to prepare your teen to navigate the sometimes choppy Internet waters, you can reduce the possibility that they will drown in Internet dangers.
Why teen peer pressure is so dangerous?
Think back to your teen years. What do you remember most? If you’re like most teens you probably remember the joy of fitting in or belonging; or the pain of finding yourself outside the crowd. Teen peer pressure is so dangerous because the desire to belong can become so great that teens often feel conflict between doing what they know is right and doing what it takes to be part of the crowd.
What can parents do?
- Get to know your teens friends, and spend time in conversation when you can
- Gently address any concerns you have
- Help your teen find his or her own “beat”
- Create opportunities for your teen to develop the confidence to “dance to his or her own beat.”
- Offer kindness and understanding. “Walk in your teens shoes,” and offer support from that perspective
Social networking dangers for kids
Social networking sites are great places to explore and share new ideas, sharpen creativity and make new connections. These sites are also perfect places to play out fantasies (such as pretending you are 16 when you are only 13) or connect with someone that pretends to understand all the things it seems your parents don’t.
Help keep your kids stay safe by:
- Limiting Internet access
- Supporting your kids to develop/maintain personal connections with family and (in-person) friends
- Forbidding your child to post information (such as address, school name, and telephone numbers) that can be misused by viewers.
- Having the courage to make unpopular decisions (saying “no” may disappoint your child, but s/he will not die)
- Providing some perspective (helping your child understand how easy it is for dangerous people to pretend they are kind and understanding friends)
- Understanding what motivates your child to participate on social networking sites, and offering guidance/direction/alternatives from that place.
- Reminding your child that everyone (including unintended and unsafe eyes) will have access to whatever information they post.
- Encouraging your child to limit online contacts to a safe, buddy list
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